My Friend Marv

Since myspace is all about friends/networking I thought I should share my friend Marv because he can't have his own myspace account. I'm not sure of his age or sexual orientation but his occupation is trapping, disarming and consuming bugs. Yeah bugs, Marv is a spider. Every night he spins a web outside my kitchen sink window, catches his prey and then wraps things up very early in the morning. He actually either eats or just grabs his web quickly as the sky is getting lighter and disappers until dark. If I were a fancy writer I would provided a brillant description of the glowing sun exploding as it appears on the horizon just over yonder from the big red barn, but I'm not, so use your own imagination. Anyway, I've never seen such an orderly fellow (well, that's a lie, I can think of 3 men...) and if I weren't such an honest girl I might consider having an affair with him (if he would tidy my house that is). The spider, the affair with the spider! Not one of the 3 men (one is my dad and that would be unthinkable). He has all the qualities I would seek out in a mate: he is handsome (well, as handsome as a hairy grey spider can be, I'm sure the other spiders dig him), he starts and finishes a project, he is self-sufficient, he cleans up after himself, he disappears during the day, he has minimal debt (gosh, probably no debt, we aren't charging him to live under the siding by the window), he is physically fit, and as far as I can tell doesn't ask for much. That, is my friend Marv and I'm enthralled by him.