Friday, March 21, 2008

Moving On Part II-The Loot

I'm aiming to live like the woman who built a house the size of a parking space (84 square feet!) and allows herself 300 items total at all times. Therefore if she brings something in, something else must leave. We have over 300 Little People alone but that doesn't mean I'm not always working my way in that direction. The only obstacle I face is that I don't have the support of the rest of my immediate family, especially my daughter. The last time I cleaned her room I came away with 3 garbage bags of "loot", none of which would have met her approval for disposal. She willingly flushes used toilet paper and tosses used Kleenex, besides that she has a level of personal attachment to items that I will never understand.
We have found her forging through the garbage can in search of items that I have deemed to be useless (tags from clothing, old art work, broken crayons, popped balloons, etc.). So now I must put the items in a bag and hide the bag until she is gone or asleep before I haul it to the outside garbage. Even then I sometimes blow my cover when a stupid talking toy starts expressing itself on the way to the road because I forgot to remove the batteries. Close your eyes and imagine Elmo chicken dancing his way to the dump-I can't tell you how many nights I have dreamed this very dream!
In my own little private way I have started to move on from the baby making business, a business that I have obviously been very adept at these past 8 years (I think I must have been brainwashed by some cult). I have come to the conclusion that it must end at some point and now is a good time to say good-bye to the sling, the breast pump, the bouncy seat and floor-gym-mat-thingy. All infant related items are making their way out the door, maybe slowly but surely. The blue patterned sling that held all 3 boys (child 1 was denied this opportunity as I was the clueless first time parent) for hours and hours, to the point where I harbored wretched feelings towards it, was at the top of the loot pile this past week. It wasn't singing on the way to the landfill like Elmo, but in a small way it was a coveted dream nonetheless.

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