Husband: Would you ever wear anything like that? (Pointing to the cover of the latest Title Nine catalog)
Me: Um, no.
Husband: Why not?
Me: I don't think I have a good enough body to pull that off.
Husband: What are you talking about? She looks just like you, look. (points to catalog)
Me: I don't think so.
Husband: (walking away) Do *lesbians* even wear bikinis?
*As I typed this I was wondering if this conversation really happened or did I just dream that my husband compared me to a Title Nine model. Or did he just call me a *lesbian*?